Weight loss for pre-empty nester women who don't like working out
Yesterday, I received a text from a friend asking how I coped during the first Christmas without my Dad? My friend is facing her first holiday season after the loss of her father.
This will be my 4th Christmas without my Dad and I had to stop to think of that first Christmas without him because, to be honest, I had blocked it out.
This will be my 4th Christmas without my Dad and I had to stop to think of that first Christmas without him because, to be honest, I had blocked it out.
Losing a loved one is hard.
Celebrating holidays without them is hard.
I remember one Thanksgiving my Dad requested that we leave an empty chair at the table in remembrance of my grandmother. My Dad had brain cancer at that point and his mind sometimes did weird things. But after losing him, I realized why he wanted an empty seat. There was an empty spot where she used to be and he wanted to recognize that.
I have to say the two hardest things about not having a loved one at the holidays is the anticipation of the holiday and the empty feeling you experience without the loved one there with you while celebrating.
I think the anticipation of the day is actually much worse than the day itself, in my opinion. The unknown of whether you’ll burst into tears, be unable to get out of bed, or if you'll lash out at loved ones is very real. At this point in the process of grief, you realize that you don’t have any control over your emotions. Grief rears it’s ugly head at the most unusual times and ways.
Here is some encouragement: you have already walked through the toughest part of loss. I believe that the day someone passes away and the day of the funeral are the two toughest days of loss. You’ve already “survived” those two days and nothing will be as hard to walk through. Yes, holidays are hard, but you’ve already walked through the hardest part of loss.
The empty feeling or “hole” is definitely hard during holidays. My Dad was larger than life. He owned the room he was in and all attention was always on him. When he passed away it was really, really quiet. In order to fill that emptiness, we added new fun traditions in addition to our old ones.
Last Thanksgiving, our family had experienced the loss of my Dad, my cousin, and my grandfather in the span of 21 months. Not only that, but another cousin had twin babies very prematurely and they were in ICU. My younger son had torn his ACL and had surgery a few days before Thanksgiving. We were reeling from A LOT.
Insert new tradition!
My mom had the great idea to have our favorite mexican food instead of the traditional Thanksgiving meal. It was a new tradition and it distracted our minds from the loss we had experienced. Not having to stress about cooking was nice and we could just enjoy being together. It was a nice distraction from the loss and disappointments we were experiencing.
We spent last Christmas away from home at our lake house with my in-laws, my mom, and my boys. It was the first overnight Christmas Eve we’d spent with my in-laws so we included them in all our favorite traditions like tamales for dinner, a gingerbread house contest, Christmas Eve pjs, and a big Christmas morning breakfast. I have to say it was one of my favorite holidays since losing my Dad and I think it was because it had some hints of our traditional holiday but it also was in a different place which made it fun and not as sad.
I know the holidays are going to look different for a lot of people this year because of loss or because of covid safety measures. You may even have an empty chair or two when you gather this year. I hope that knowing the anticipation is worse than the reality will comfort you. I hope that you’ll be able to create new, fun traditions making this one of your favorite holiday seasons yet.
5 ways to find more FUN and FREEDOM in your life!
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My confession...
Cardio + strength + endurance + flexibility at the same time!
There was a recent post in my neighborhood Facebook group that read: In search of a unicorn: Remote, work-from-home, part-time job Make my own hours Not MLM Not cold calling I've done Door Dash before but don't want to put any more wear/tear on my car. I'm an efficient typist. I have 13+ years of self-taught graphic design (Photoshop & Illustrator) experience. I'm tech-savvy, creative, and I learn quickly. Any ideas? It made me wonder why Network Marketing/MLM jobs get such a bad rap? I get it, I used to avoid the lady at my church who always wanted me to have a home party for her. And, I said “no” to all the people who introduced me to their opportunities. A few bad apples might have left a bad taste in your mouth too. However, I remember reading a book about Mary Kay Ash when I was in elementary school. The business she created allowed her to be present for her kids while also building a business. That was something I always desired. And the business model she created also made sense. It was a lot of people coming together to do a little which compounded into something big. As a stay at home mom, I was getting tired of being strapped financially and I wanted some play money. I didn’t want to work outside of the home because my kids were my priority and I wanted to be fully available to them. I was approached by my BFF about a business. At first, I said no and began to avoid her like the lady at my church. But, then I started to become curious about the business opportunity. I’d seen how well the products worked for my BFF and her husband. And, I remembered Mary Kay Ash’s network marketing business. This business opportunity wasn’t selling makeup, pills, or a face cream but a lifestyle change that would create a ripple effect for those who used the products. It was what I personally needed for my health and it made sense. I can tell you the truth about network marketing. It is the best business model I have found for women who want to work their own hours, has a small start-up cost, and allows them to leverage their time by working as a team. It takes hard work, diligence, and being coachable. You are the type who isn’t afraid to try something new and wants to create a ripple effect that can make an impact on generations to come. Let’s make a lasting impact together. More information about how you can join me in changing lives can be found here .
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