Your kids are most likely home for the holidays or headed home soon. If this is their first holiday home, it can be an exciting time but also an adjustment for them…and for you.
I asked some of my friends their best advice for you and instead of editing them and just sharing a few of them, I thought you’d enjoy reading their different perspectives.
“Keep the small traditions alive that you did for them when they were toddlers….if you don’t remember them….ask them to write down 3 of their favorites and put them in a jar. Pull one out occasionally over the break and do it!” - Kristy O.
“You are going to go to the grocery store many, many times!” - Stephanie J.
“Try not to get your feelings hurt when they want to spend most of their break visiting with old high school friends. I had envisioned long lazy days enjoying each other's company but she was gone more than she was home. Hugs to all mamas navigating the new normal. Oh, and set your curfew boundaries before they go out that first night. They will come back home thinking they don’t have a curfew and need to be reminded how a “normal” home functions, with people that still have to go to work or school.” - Dana W.
“Don’t be offended when all you want to do is hang out with them, and they don’t want to spend every hour hanging out with you. They are happy to be home, but have a discovered a new freedom they may be liking a little better. It’s a good thing…but a bit hard to swallow the first time they come home.” - Rhonda L.
“Have all of their favorite things in the fridge/pantry.” - Megan L.
“Don’t plan anything (or much), keep the scheduled activities to a minimum, because they will want to sleep, chill, and hang out with their old friends.” - Lisa M.
“Don't expect them to spend the whole time with you, they are going to want to do things with friends. Remember the transition from kid to adult relationship is not easy, just remember they're adults.” - Patty V.
“Communicate what you need from them and when. They have gotten used to planning their own day. Last minute requests add stress.” - Elizabeth P.
“I write a schedule on a dry erase board that includes when mealtimes will be and any appointments. Get the doctors appointments done - dentist, eye doctor, physical, etc. They are not going to be home again until the summer, and if they are working at a camp, interning, or studying abroad, you might actually have less time in the summer than you do at the holidays.” - Marissa K
“Don’t plan too much because they will want to sleep and hang with friends. I always made one of their favorite meals.” - Jeanette A.
“Don’t have any expectations about how you want the holidays to go.” Angela S.
“We acknowledged that when they’re away, we don’t monitor curfew, so it wasn’t curfew, but it was courtesy to us because it’s our home. If they were staying at someone else’s house, would they come in super late and be noisy? No. That would be rude. They’re already know our stance about ‘nothing good happens after midnight.’” - Cristina S.
“Home cooked meal.” - Melissa S.
“It may go without saying but have their room fresh and ready and the kitchen stocked with their favs - I thought all folks would just do that but I have heard from my kids that their friends’ families don’t all do this - makes me sad for those kids who don’t look forward to coming home - our kids defintely do and just do their thing - it’s the best.”- Allison S.
“Set boundaries…set expectations. I had a conversation with my kids that they needed to give food ideas, clean up after meals, change their bedding and if they are too busy with friends to at least help out in the kitchen so we can have some time together. It felt weird to have to ask for some time but I found that when I asked for it and tried to plan for time it was more likely to happen. Don’t wait to fight for time with them, plan it. Let them have a say…work it out together.” - Cindy M.
“My kids just want time at home and with friends so don’t make tons of plans. Have their rooms fresh…fresh sheets, maybe even flowers if they are girls. Ask what meals they want…they’ve been eating college food! And tell them you still want to be able to go to bed by 9:30 And remind them to do their own dishes.” - Jennifer M.
“Keep your thoughts to yourself but your arms open wide. Stock up on favorite foods. Don’t overschedule.” - Maurine R.
“My daughter likes to keep busy when she’s home, so on Christmas break I try to plan activities, cooking, decorating, looking at lights etc. I also buy double of her favorite foods so she can take food back with her. She always brings her ice chest.” - Crispin B.
“Let them decompress for the first 24 hours. Then make the memories ” - Patty M.
Get everything done/prepared in advance so you can relax and just enjoy them. “ - Lori V.
You can tell from this advice that these suggestions are from moms who most likely have had to sometimes learn through experience. Hopefully this advice will help you be prepared!
What is your best advice? I’d love to hear!
